How to stop complaining

I know I'm guilty of complaining- friends have pointed this out on multiple occasions. But, slowly I've been becoming more self-aware. If you have the same problem, here are some helpful tactics to keep complaining to a minimum, ditch the negative thoughts and find solutions. 

Accept responsiblity: if something seems to be bothering you, either fix it or accept that nothing can be done right now. Since complaining is a passive activity, we should change that complaining into action to solve the problem, or accept it and find other areas of focus.

Be the change you wish to see in the world: cliché, right. But if you're around family, friends or co-workers and complaining occurs- either speak up or quiet down, depending on the situation. Trying to change the subject can also be a useful strategy.

Train yourself to be less judgemental: at some points, we complain about others because we think they aren't up to our standards. Once we stop judging people and consider their individual stories, we will most likely complain less about the things people do. 

Take the time to take care of yourself: stress, combined with a busy lifestyle can take over our lives and break down anyone's positive spirit. Try to set some time aside for yourself, whether it's for relaxing or energizing purposes. This can help put you in a new frame of mind. 

Consider the things you're grateful for: thinking of all the great things and amazing people in your life should put a cap on complaints. 

Online Self-Education

Many online resources exist out there that can broaden our intellectual realm. I've listed several from different categories that could be interesting to look at! Haven't even tried all of these myself at this point...


Ebooks:  

• Project Gutenberg: a website with around 30,000 books with expired copyrights. It's a vast database with many outdated books, and multiple formats for downloading. 
• ManyBooks.net: Has over 25,465 free ebooks to download. This website is more visually appealing than the first, and has various features such as special collections and a cover image gallery.

Non-Lecture Videos: 

• Hulu News and Information Channel: a friend of mine recommended this site, I have yet to make use of it though. Not only does it have a multitude of popular prime-time shows, but also many educational programs. This channel has full episodes from National Geographic, NOVA, Biography, The History Channel, etc. 
• MoviesFoundOnline.com: has links to the documentaries offered on Google Video, YouTube and other streaming video services. Heard that the video quality is sometimes mediocre though :( 
• PBS Video: many free and full length episodes of different videos, great selection! 

Scholarly Journals: 

• Google Scholar: I've tried this when finding information for projects, pretty satisfied with the results. Has information from articles, theses, books, abstracts and court opinions.

Video and Audio Lectures: 

• If you haven't heard about TED, it's a conference held every year that brings innovators, inventors, intellectuals and ideas together.  Most talks are approx twenty minutes and cover an incredible range of topics...impossible to spend time on this website and not be inspired! 
• Academic Earth: haven't tried this, but it's an organization founded with the goal of giving everyone the access to a world-class education.” There are entire courses worth of lectures on a huge selection of subjects from some of the world’s top Universities and professors, including Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and MIT.
• iTunesU: within the iTunes store there's a growing library of lectures from some of the world’s top universities. It's simple to locate lectures based on topic and best of all, it is all free. 

Intellectual Reading: 

• The Browser:  this website collects journalism from around the internet which they judge likely to be of lasting value to the general intelligent reader.  Also has a section where they invite experts to recommend the best reading in their given fields of interest.
• Longreads: love the idea. This twitter feed provides links to “long reads” throughout the internet.  If you’re craving something longer than the average blog post, check this site out. You can use it in combination with Instapaper...haven't tried!

How to Keep it All Organized? 

• Instapaper and Evernote are recommended. Instapaper allows you to bookmark and easily save articles for later reading, and Evernote is an application for note taking as well as a database manager. 

Happppppy Reading! 

Sleeping and Mental Visualization

Not very often, but there is the occasional night I have problems falling asleep. Here are some (hopefully) helpful strategies! Funny how I'm writing this after only being awake for 3 hours. Anyways, sweet dreams!

-Counting...so apparently, Oxford University conducted a study on 20 insomnia patients, with the result that counting sheep actually extended the necessary time to fall asleep.  Knew it. So, you're supposed to combine counting with breathing to maximize the efficiency of counting.

-Hypnogogic Exploration...hypo-what? First time I had heard of this as well. This describes the naturally ocurring images seen while between the sleeping and waking state. Apparently, you're supposed to focus on these images instead of thoughts from the day-- and then these static images become dreams. Hmm, go figure.

-The Sinking Mattress....you're supposed to visualize each part of your body gradually sinking into your mattress. It further mentally relaxes mind and body than a simple muscle relaxation. Result = a peaceful state, helping to achieve a very satisfying sleep.

-Body Levitation...stress from our long, tiring days often result in mental blocks that prevent us from falling asleep.  Essentially, you envision your body becoming lighter while imagining yourself in a peaceful setting. This helps calm the body, and reduces worries and fears, and then you fall asleep.

-Distance Focusing...I found this one really interesting. When you close your eyes, you actually don't experience total darkness. You see the back of your eyelids, which may be mistaken as complete darkness since the eyelids instantly cut off all light, and the cones in the eyes haven't yet adjusted to the darkness. But, if you wait patiently you eventually can adjust your point of reference; seeing further into the distance. You should focus into the distant darkness and experience the images that appear...and eventually sleep will settle in.

-Statue Transformation...this is the technique of imagining yourself turning to concrete or metal. This results in numbing the body, and relaxing the neck and back. You enter a mental zone that allows you to fall asleep.

-Trying to Stay Awake...this is my favourite, just because it sounds counter-productive. I suppose it does serve its purpose though. Based on the law of attraction, this technique uses reverse psychology to get your mind to fall asleep.

Favourite Quotes

After somewhat of a tiring and difficult week, I decided to look up some good motivational quotes, here are a few of my favourites:

"There is more in us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less." ~Kurt Hahn 

"Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw

"We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves." ~Orison Swett Marden 

"Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought." ~Napoleon Hill

"What would you do if you weren't afraid? Don't let your fears overwhelm your desire. Let the barriers you face- and there will be barriers- be external, not internal. Fortune does favour the bold. You'll never know what you're capable of unless you try." ~Sheryl Sandberg 

"Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. ~Napoleon Hill 

"Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together." ~Jessie Jackson 

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

“Don’t let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice.” ~Steve Jobs

"The more you are successful, the more latitude you have to succeed. But to exploit that latitude you can't always pursue a linear career progression- you have to go off into left field, take some risks and see where it takes you." ~Heather Hancock 

“It doesn’t matter how one was brought up. What determines the way one does anything is personal power.” ~Carlos Castaneda 

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” ~R. Buckminster Fuller  

How women adversely influence their careers

Did you know that...

• Half of women managers admitted to feelings of self-doubt about their performance and career, but only 31% of men reported the same.
• The study also found that this lack of confidence extends to a more cautious approach to applying for jobs and promotions: 20% of men said they would apply for a role despite only partially meeting its job description, compared to 14% of women.

 So, we need to ask ourselves, how can this situation be improved? I think that women should position themselves well in their organization, speak up, work on letting go of their insecurities and publicize their accomplishments to order to win the respect of their peers and enhance potential for moving up in their respective organization. Here are the 4 low-confidence behaviours that influence women's careers: 

Not asking. Often, women fail to get promoted because they don't step up and apply. It feels personally risky to step-up and ask for a big job or assignment — but there's really no other way. Not asking means you've lost the chance to influence the outcome.

Being overly modest. It is observable that men are more willing to take public credit for their successes. Women believe their accomplishments should speak for themselves, and they spend less effort ensuring they get the gold star next to their name. While modesty is a nice character trait, it's naive to believe that your boss, your clients, or your colleagues will recognize your accomplishments if you fly under the radar.

Remaining silent. It's not easy to get a word in during meetings, especially when six other colleagues are all fighting for the floor. But failing to speak up and express yourself when you have something relevant to add is a missed chance to get in the game. Getting your point of view across during important discussions is essential for your career!

Blending in. Many women go to great lengths to avoid attention. They don't want to stand out — in meetings, in the boardroom or even in the elevator. This means you are missing opportunities — every single day — to stand out and sell your ideas. 

The Path to Success

Identifying the cause of success or failure is at times, difficult for many people. Here are several ways to get you on the sure-fire path to success :) 

1. Be specific.
Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you'll "eat less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and precise. "I'll cut down on 200 calories/day" leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do. 
2. Take advantage of the moment to act on your goals. 
Many of us let opportunities to act on a goal slip us by because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.
3. Be an optimist, but a realistic one. 
When you are setting a goal, be sure to engage in positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it; but thinking things will come easily and effortlessly to you increases the odds of failure. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. 
4. Monitor your progress. 
It is imperative that you regularly examine your performance, and adjust strategies if necessary. Don't take on too much to handle, it is better to progress little by little. And don't forget to reward yourself for your success! 
5. Have grit. 
Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit is something that can be acquired! 
6. Build your willpower. 
By putting your willpower to good use, it will become stronger; enabling you to reach your goals.

To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother —don't. It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

7. Focus on getting better, as opposed to being good. 

Many of us tend to set goals that are about proving ourselves, rather than improving and acquiring new skills.

How to make work-life balance work

"It is important that you never put the quality of your life into the hands of a commercial corporation..."
This video has some practical ideas to take into consideration :)

http://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work.html

Time- and how to make use of it

So many things to do, yet so little time. Here's a list of several ways to make the most of time constraints, hope it's useful! 

• Plan every day in advance: Take a moment to plan your day in advance. For every minute you spend planning you can actually save 5-10 minutes in execution.
• Apply the “80/20 Rule” to everything: Resist the temptation to clear up small things first. 20% of your activities account for 80% of your results. So, be sure to concentrate efforts on those top 20% of activities.
• Create large chunks of time: Organize your days around large blocks of time when it's easiest for you to concentrate.
• Focus on key result areas: Identify and determine the results that you absolutely have to get done to perform well and work on them all day long.
• Do your homework: Learn what you need to learn so that you can do your work exceptionally well. A major reason we delay and procrastinate is due to our own feelings of inadequacy or  lack of confidence in our tasks.
• Obey the Law of Forced Efficiency: Single out your highest value activities since there's never enough time for everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing. 
• Leverage your special talents: There are certain things that you can do or learn to do that will make you extraordinarily valuable to both yourself and to others. Identify your areas of uniqueness and commit to becoming excellent in those areas. It's just a matter of asking yourself- "What am I really good at?"
• Do the most difficult task first:  Conquer the most difficult task first and resolve to stay at it until it is complete. 
• Identify your key constraints: Determine the bottlenecks (internally and/or externally) that set the speed at which your are able achieve your most important goals and focus on alleviating them. Did you know that most are internal? 
• Take it one step at a time: You can accomplish large and complicated jobs if you just complete them one step at a time.  Focus on a single action that you can take to make a difference.
• Put the pressure on yourself: Tip: Imagine that you have to leave town for a month. Work as if you had to get all your major tasks completed before you left. “Only about 2% of people can work entirely without supervision. We call these people leaders.”
• Maximize your personal powers: Identify the periods in which your mental and physical energy are at their highest. Structure your most important things to do around those times.
• Develop a sense of urgency: Make a habit of moving fast on your key tasks and you will become an action oriented person.